Helmet of Salvation
Begin with what is already settled. Salvation is the ground every other prayer stands on.
You are my strong deliverer who shields my head in the day of battle.
Eleanor AshfordA book of prayer for parents of estranged adult children
Tactical Strategies for Hope in Family Estrangement
Scripture-led prayers for the nights your mind will not go quiet. Boundaries without bitterness. Hope without desperation.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Warfare Praying
Prayers for parents
13 chapters
Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10
Take every thought captive II Corinthians 10:5
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him Lamentations 3:25
Do not fear, for I am with you Isaiah 41:10
Above all else, guard your heart Proverbs 4:23
From the cover of Warfare Praying
The Book
A mother's field guide for the long wait
When an adult child steps away without explaining why, the silence becomes its own storm. Warfare Praying follows one mother through a week alone at a lake house, where she stops trying to repair the distance and starts handing it to God.
This book does not debate whether estrangement is right or wrong. It is about a parent accepting the circumstances she is in and learning what she can and cannot control. Scripture is the tool for transformation here, never for manipulation, and the hope it points to rests on God instead of on anyone's reply.
Along the way she builds a practice you can borrow: prayers written line by line from Scripture, a laundry list for repentance, six steps for the moment emotions flare, and rules of engagement for the day a conversation finally comes.
- Written for
- Parents of estranged adult children
- The practice
- Scripture-led prayer, repentance, emotional regulation, boundaries
- It begins
- In a Midwestern February snowstorm
- The setting
- A lake house, a week of solitude
- Pairs with
- A companion journal of day-by-day prayers and notes
Chapter 5, Taking Up Arms
Six pieces of armor, prayed on one by one
Eleanor wrote this prayer in 1999 and kept it close for the days she felt under attack. Each piece becomes a declaration she can say out loud.
Keep scrollingBreastplate of Righteousness
Come before God as a clean vessel. Confess what is true and let the blood of Jesus cover the heart.
Search my heart for any unconfessed sin or anything that does not please You.
Belt of Truth
Learn to see lies and deceptions for what they are, and keep every thought captive to what is true.
Help me to choose integrity, believing the truth and speaking the truth.
Shoes of Peace
Listen first. Choose grace over judgment and mercy over anger before going further into battle.
Today, I choose to be at peace with everyone I encounter.
Shield of Faith
Step down as commanding officer and give strategic control to the One who holds the master plan.
You are the first cause and last word of everything You allow to touch my life.
Sword of the Spirit
Make Scripture the foundation that guides and brings understanding, whatever the outcome turns out to be.
Your word will not return to You empty.
The Method
Do the laundry. Don't skip a step.
Repentance in this book is a basket of dirty clothes. Find the stain, treat it, wash it, rinse it, dry it, fold it and put it away. Skip a step and the stain comes back.
Eleanor learned it in a single afternoon at the lake house, when God showed her a lie she had been repeating to herself for years. Chapters 4 and 6 follow the cycle as it happens.
Six steps. In this order.
1
Spot treatment
Sin revealedAsk God to show you the stain, then look at it honestly.
2
Wash
RepentName it as sin against Him and turn away from it.
3
Rinse
Accept His forgivenessReceive what is already given. As far as the east is from the west, He has removed it.
4
Dry
Ask forgiveness from others if neededMake it right with the people the sin touched.
5
Fold
Forgive yourselfStop carrying a verdict God has already lifted.
6
Put away
Take on a godly mindsetReplace the old lie with Scripture and keep the new thought where you can find it.
When emotions flare, take six steps
Say it out loud: “I need to walk away for 10 minutes and then we’ll have to come back to this.”
- Breathe and pause
- Name the emotion
- Ask God into it
- Align with truth
- Choose self-control
- Replace wrong thinking with truth
He hasn't finished writing my story yet.Chapter 11, Wait and SeeHer hope moved from waiting on a reply to waiting on God.
Inside the Book
Thirteen chapters, from a sleepless night to an open door
- 01Overwhelmed OverloadA snowstorm outside, a different storm inside, and a husband who sends her away to heal.
- 02The Get-AwayNinety minutes of road, cheap napkins, and a verse on the radio.
- 03Sequestered SolitudeThe lake house, the quiet, and the first night alone with God.
- 04Be Still and KnowA six-year-old's note slips out of a Bible, and stillness becomes the first weapon.
- 05Taking Up ArmsPraying on the full armor and reclaiming ground lost in the mind.
- 06Time to Do the LaundryRepentance, rewired thinking, and emotional regulation under God's authority.
- 07DNAWhy God made the family, and what it means to carry His Spirit together.
- 08Baking BrowniesHow a little sin spreads, and why appeasement is not peace.
- 09Tactical ReconnaissancePraying with specificity, one front at a time.
- 10Rules of EngagementBoundaries, vocabulary, and the principles she will keep when the conversation comes.
- 11Wait and SeeActive trust, hopeful expectation, and the decision to head home.
- 12What About You?An invitation to the reader, whether you believe yet or not.
- 13Not the EndHer story, and yours, still being written.
Companion Journal
For the nights your screens keep looping
The companion journal walks you through nights when your mind is not silent. When you feel the enemy attack, it hands you verses like ammunition and gives you laser focus on how to defeat the attack.
- Day-by-day prayers and notes
- Verses like ammunition
- Your hope-perspective kept alive
The back cover
Get the Book
For the night your mind won't go quiet.
Start with chapter one and finish with a plan you can pray.
No rush, no pressure. Just steady steps toward peace, rooted deep in faith, until God moves.
